Are you scared to tell your parents about your unplanned pregnancy?
At Mosaic Pregnancy & Health Centers, we have seen first hand that most parents are eager to help their pregnant or parenting children in any way they can. We also understand how important it is to have the support of trusted adults during this challenging time in your life.
Here are some ways to help the conversation go more smoothly for everyone.
Prepare Ahead of Time
You’ll feel more confident talking to your parents if take some time to get ready.
- Visit Mosaic PHC for a free pregnancy test and ultrasound. The ultrasound will tell you how far along you are and whether the pregnancy can be carried to term.
- By the way, your visit to Mosaic PHC is completely confidential. Your privacy is important to us and we are bound by healthcare privacy laws, so we will not disclose your information to anyone without your permission. However, we encourage you to invite your parents to come with you if you feel comfortable doing so.
- Learn about your pregnancy options. Mosaic PHC will provide medically accurate information on parenting, adoption and abortion. Along with the results of your pregnancy test and ultrasound, this is good information to share with your parents. It will show them that you’ve taken responsibility for your situation.
- Consider your parents’ personalities. Think of how your parents have handled stressful situations in the past. Do they tend to get angry or emotional easily? Or do they tend to remain calm? If you’re worried that they may respond violently, consider inviting someone to come with you. Examples might be a grandparent, older sibling, teacher, coach or faith leader.
Choose the Best Time and Place
Your parents will likely need time to process this news. Here are some do’s and don’t’s for choosing when to tell them about your pregnancy.
- Choose a day and time when there’s plenty of time to react and ask questions.
- Choose a time when everyone is calm.
- Don’t spring this on them in the middle of other activities.
- Don’t blurt it out as you’re walking out the door for work or school.
- Don’t tell them in the middle of an argument. Again, wait until everyone is calm.
If your parents are divorced, the parent you live with will likely find out first. Make plans to let your other parent know as soon as possible.
Give Your Parents Time to React
If your parents do become angry and yell at you, try to stay calm. Resist the urge to yell back. Most likely, they will calm down and still want to help you after the initial shock wears off.
- Be patient. This is an emotional situation for your parents. They may need time to work through their own feelings before they can focus on helping you.
- Remember that sometimes people say things they don’t mean in stressful situations. If your parents say something hurtful, let them know how you feel, but be willing to forgive them once things calm down.
- Empathize with your parents. Let them know you understand this may be difficult news for them to hear. Stay calm and listen as they express their feelings to you.
- Apologize. Let your parents know you’re sorry if you’ve disappointed them. Remind them that you’ve taken the time to get a pregnancy test and gather information to help you make a responsible pregnancy decision.
Answer Questions Truthfully
Before you talk to your parents, think of some questions you think they’ll have. Consider how you’ll answer them ahead of time.
- They will want to know who the father is. Have they met him? Did they already know about your relationship with him? Do they approve of your relationship with him? Do they know his parents? Does he plan to marry you or stay involved in your life and your baby’s life?
- Your parents may also have questions about your sexual activity. What are their own opinions about premarital sex? Did they already know you were sexually active, or are they also learning about this for the first time?
Talk About Your Pregnancy Decision
If your parents react calmly to your news, you may begin talking about your pregnancy decision. If they become angry or emotional, wait until things settle down to have a follow-up discussion.
- Share the information you’ve gathered on parenting, adoption and abortion. Listen calmly as they express their thoughts on these options.
- What advice do they have for you? How do they feel about becoming grandparents? What are their opinions on issues like abortion and adoption?
- Respect your parents’ opinions, but remind them that they cannot make your pregnancy decision for you. For example, nobody, not even your parents, can force you to have an abortion against your will.
If you’re not sure how to talk to your parents about your pregnancy, please contact Mosaic PHC for a free consultation. We’ll provide you with accurate information you can share with them and the compassionate care you need.